I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
