If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Dick very happy bro
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
