I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
