"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
