well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
