Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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