i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
