I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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