Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
