Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
