hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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