1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
