So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
