talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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