carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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