Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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