Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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