Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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