So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize