I'm going to jail i love you
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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