This girl is more easily done than said...
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
