Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize