So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
