i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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