I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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