do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
