I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
one might say we're banned from that church
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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