HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Dicks are not precious.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
