Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize