i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
