just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
