so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize