I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
