It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
