Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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