the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
