Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
