i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
