im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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