while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
