Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize