So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
