just come out here and I will go home with you...
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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