Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
