ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize