oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
