her vagine was all disorganized.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
