We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
