All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
