I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize