DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
