She's JV to your varsity
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He kissed a someone with a penis
Do vagina's smell?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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