Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
