he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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