She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
