How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
