I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
