you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
