Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so let's talk penis.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
