I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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