the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
