I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
