he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
