I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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