I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
