We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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