Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
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