thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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