So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
