An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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