I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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