The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
