How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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