Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
