lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
